so i was roaming around facebook and my big sister miss jule posted this from an email she had received. take it all in and enjoy:
"After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and changing a soul. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you start to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain. After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth. You learn that with every goodbye, there’s a hello. Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Be random. Say I love you. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Drink until the bottle’s empty. Sing out loud. Tell an asshole how you feel. Let someone know what they’re missing. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Live Life."
Its a good way to look and live your life. I have honestly put myself in a lot of positions where i expect too much or i expect the out come to be amazing....and i tend to let myself down. The more and more i try to not give a fuck, the more i encounter people i really want to get to know...but i dont want to be disappointed by them. So i end up setting myself up for a disappointment. I dont know if im just encountering the wrong people or im making false conclusions of them and how they are in reality versus what they are showing me. Im tired of it. but im still in love with the thought of love. anyways, I have to keep doing me because ive gotten this far right? yeah...enjoy. live life and love it.
jenyo
Monday, October 19, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
happy winter!
the rain is FINALLY here. im not too sad about it. i actually enjoy winter. except today i was woken up by the rain....literally! my window was leaking and getting my bed, clothes, and myself wet. total fail. i had to get ready for work fast and let my landlord know. was kinda funny...but hey i got it fixed.
heres some pictures from last month...and a few from this weekend. it was crod, mykey, and kiannas birthday.
Monday, October 12, 2009
the future lies ahead
contemplating a lot about my future lately...mostly with work. ive been taking pre-req classes for the dental hygiene program what seems like forever now and im finally ready to apply.
ive been slowly progressing over time at work..getting a license here and there which in turn ends in another raise. I passed my practical exam for my RDA in august and now its time to take the written part. then ill officially be an RDA. my goal however is to be one step higher. I can apply to 2 community colleges that have the DH program however its a bitch to get into. people average about 2 years needing to apply and get accepted. I have found an alternative school...Western Career College. It is the only vocational school that offers a DH program. The only thing that might be an issue would be the money. it is significantly more than if i go to a community college program BUT its only 16months long. cost more...but its shorter...and in the end i still have the same thing in my hand.
my family has been very supportive...even my dear boss lady. im scared of not being able to work. esp since i just got a new and more expensive apartment, im always afraid of putting too much on my parents. i love them to death and owe them my world but in the end of it all. ill be making significantly more money which in turn would pay off my loans (which i hope to be approved for). sacrifices will have to be made. and i have to decide my future in a matter of a week. we'll see what happens.
jenyo
ps happy birthday Mykey, Crod, and Baby Kianna! had a blast with all of you this past weekend. even though i was soooo shit faced! thank you janelle for driving me home. i havent gotten that ripped in a LONG time! <3 you.
ive been slowly progressing over time at work..getting a license here and there which in turn ends in another raise. I passed my practical exam for my RDA in august and now its time to take the written part. then ill officially be an RDA. my goal however is to be one step higher. I can apply to 2 community colleges that have the DH program however its a bitch to get into. people average about 2 years needing to apply and get accepted. I have found an alternative school...Western Career College. It is the only vocational school that offers a DH program. The only thing that might be an issue would be the money. it is significantly more than if i go to a community college program BUT its only 16months long. cost more...but its shorter...and in the end i still have the same thing in my hand.
my family has been very supportive...even my dear boss lady. im scared of not being able to work. esp since i just got a new and more expensive apartment, im always afraid of putting too much on my parents. i love them to death and owe them my world but in the end of it all. ill be making significantly more money which in turn would pay off my loans (which i hope to be approved for). sacrifices will have to be made. and i have to decide my future in a matter of a week. we'll see what happens.
jenyo
ps happy birthday Mykey, Crod, and Baby Kianna! had a blast with all of you this past weekend. even though i was soooo shit faced! thank you janelle for driving me home. i havent gotten that ripped in a LONG time! <3 you.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
a little older, a little wiser.
so these past couple of months I have been tested on my ability to handle all sorts of situations. i've surprised myself on how i reacted and how i had to handle it. if you put me in this position this time maybe 2 years ago, i would have been hysterical and probably borderline depressed. but since i've already been through that (haha), i know better then to blame myself. its not worth my time to think about what i could have done better. this time i analyzed the situation and pointed out a few things that this person is doing wrong to try and get what they want. reality check...it doesnt work on me. if you know me, ive always thought that it should be required by all working citizens to take an interpersonal communication class. they teach you how to deal with relationships (intimate and not) and teach you how to speak to get your point across. everything that was said in that class helps between loves, family, and work. its probably one of the most enlightening classes i have ever taken. and i am forever grateful for Professor Preston Ni and this class.
at my age and in my past relationships i've always been the person to rationalize the situation and work to keep it alive. looking back i have realized...i was working by myself. and this relationship seemed to be heading down the same path. this time i picked my battles but they wanted every battle to continue...and to win. theres a point in a relationship where you need to understand that the person does not have the ability to change. thats just how they are. and they are too selfish to even admit they are doing anything wrong. why waste your time right?
maybe ill be with someone who is thankful for what they have...when they have me.
BUT IN OTHER NEWSSS!!!
hahaha.
im taking a photography class at foothill. im so glad i finally decided to take it. i never had time before because of all those damn science class....but since ive taken them all already! hahaha, im free to do whatever. im going back old school with a 35mm camera. nikon f60 (not THAT old school but you know 35mm seems ancient to some). i have concluded that film cameras are the way to go. our memories actually last forever in a negative. whereas a digital camera, more then half the people i know dont even bother printing out pictures. computers can crash and memories lost in a second. negatives can be stored for long periods of time and printed whenever you want.
the darkroom is a place where i feel at ease. i can be myself and not be judged. it gives me time and a place to think. finally i can be at school and be relaxed. photography has always been a love. but me being me, hobbies drift for a minute then come back. i think this one will be back for a while.
til next time. i swear ill post pictures. my cameras and my external have been all over the place lately.
jenyo
at my age and in my past relationships i've always been the person to rationalize the situation and work to keep it alive. looking back i have realized...i was working by myself. and this relationship seemed to be heading down the same path. this time i picked my battles but they wanted every battle to continue...and to win. theres a point in a relationship where you need to understand that the person does not have the ability to change. thats just how they are. and they are too selfish to even admit they are doing anything wrong. why waste your time right?
maybe ill be with someone who is thankful for what they have...when they have me.
BUT IN OTHER NEWSSS!!!
hahaha.
im taking a photography class at foothill. im so glad i finally decided to take it. i never had time before because of all those damn science class....but since ive taken them all already! hahaha, im free to do whatever. im going back old school with a 35mm camera. nikon f60 (not THAT old school but you know 35mm seems ancient to some). i have concluded that film cameras are the way to go. our memories actually last forever in a negative. whereas a digital camera, more then half the people i know dont even bother printing out pictures. computers can crash and memories lost in a second. negatives can be stored for long periods of time and printed whenever you want.
the darkroom is a place where i feel at ease. i can be myself and not be judged. it gives me time and a place to think. finally i can be at school and be relaxed. photography has always been a love. but me being me, hobbies drift for a minute then come back. i think this one will be back for a while.
til next time. i swear ill post pictures. my cameras and my external have been all over the place lately.
jenyo
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