a little older, a little wiser.

so these past couple of months I have been tested on my ability to handle all sorts of situations. i've surprised myself on how i reacted and how i had to handle it. if you put me in this position this time maybe 2 years ago, i would have been hysterical and probably borderline depressed. but since i've already been through that (haha), i know better then to blame myself. its not worth my time to think about what i could have done better. this time i analyzed the situation and pointed out a few things that this person is doing wrong to try and get what they want. reality check...it doesnt work on me. if you know me, ive always thought that it should be required by all working citizens to take an interpersonal communication class. they teach you how to deal with relationships (intimate and not) and teach you how to speak to get your point across. everything that was said in that class helps between loves, family, and work. its probably one of the most enlightening classes i have ever taken. and i am forever grateful for Professor Preston Ni and this class.

at my age and in my past relationships i've always been the person to rationalize the situation and work to keep it alive. looking back i have realized...i was working by myself. and this relationship seemed to be heading down the same path. this time i picked my battles but they wanted every battle to continue...and to win. theres a point in a relationship where you need to understand that the person does not have the ability to change. thats just how they are. and they are too selfish to even admit they are doing anything wrong. why waste your time right?

maybe ill be with someone who is thankful for what they have...when they have me.

BUT IN OTHER NEWSSS!!!
hahaha.
im taking a photography class at foothill. im so glad i finally decided to take it. i never had time before because of all those damn science class....but since ive taken them all already! hahaha, im free to do whatever. im going back old school with a 35mm camera. nikon f60 (not THAT old school but you know 35mm seems ancient to some). i have concluded that film cameras are the way to go. our memories actually last forever in a negative. whereas a digital camera, more then half the people i know dont even bother printing out pictures. computers can crash and memories lost in a second. negatives can be stored for long periods of time and printed whenever you want.

the darkroom is a place where i feel at ease. i can be myself and not be judged. it gives me time and a place to think. finally i can be at school and be relaxed. photography has always been a love. but me being me, hobbies drift for a minute then come back. i think this one will be back for a while.

til next time. i swear ill post pictures. my cameras and my external have been all over the place lately.

jenyo